Falling back in love

After a very successful and enjoyable meeting with my adviser, I have managed to change my major AND declare a minor. I am now officially a history major with a poly sci minor. Yay! I will be taking 2 courses through Pima this summer (online) and taking the CLEP examination for Spanish and hopefully by Fall, I will be back to my normal class!!! (Class of '11, May instead of December). My momma is happy about it.

I am so happy!! I have decided what I am going to do after graduation, but I don't want to jinx it. So I will not be sharing until it is a certainty!

My sister is moving to San Diego is August for law school at Cal Western... I am so torn about it. She's my best friend ever and she's going to be so far away. It is going to suck. And I am nervous. But at the the same time it will be good for her, and that means I will have an excuse to go to San Diego A LOT.

My living situation after May is so up in the air. I might move, might not. I am too nomadic to stay in a house for more than a year. So crazy!

I miss Mary and really, really want to get tattooed :(

Tom cut my hair like 2 weeks ago:

Oh how I love new crushes!! So fun. I think lately I have just been liking new things in general. I have been eating healthy and running regularly and feel sooo much happier. I really do think that your routine affects your happiness.

Life is wonderful. I am thinking of majoring in Geosciences. It depends on how my class (Geological disasters and society) goes, or Public Admin (like my sissy!). I feel like there are so many options. I just know I want a career where I can help people and it doesn't matter what I look like. Still searching for the perfect one, I guess!

The weather is freaking beautiful! I love the heat so much. My birthday is exactly 1 month and 7 days from today, I'm going to be 20!!!!! I feel like time is flying. Oh life.

I miss lots of friends. I will be in phoenix tomorrow for Gaslight Anthem! I hope to see familiar faces.

xo

1800

Hahahahahahahahaha. This picture speaks for itself. Best Friends Forever <3

Mason is the best at taking care of Lindsay and I.

4-17-09

Mary, this station is playing every sad song.
I remember like we were alive.
I heard it Sunday morn' from inside of these walls.
In a prison cell, where we spent those nights.
And they burnt up the diner where I always used to find her.
Licking young boys blood from her claws.
And I learned about the blues from this kitten I knew.
Her hair was rabid and her heart was like a tomb.
My heart's like a wound.

I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my first wife.
Everybody leaves and I'd expect as much from you.
I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my old life.
Everybody leaves, so why, why wouldn't you?

Mary, I worried and stalled every night of my life.
Better safe than making the party.
And I never had a good time, I sat my bedside,
With papers and poetry about Estella.
Great expectations, we had the greatest expectations.

I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my first wife.
Everybody leaves and I'd expect as much from you.
I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my old life.
Everybody leaves, so why, why wouldn't you?

It's funny how the night moves.
Humming a song from 1962.
We were always waiting...always waiting.
We were always waiting for something to happen.

I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my first wife.
Everybody leaves and I'd expect as much from you.
I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my old life.
Everybody leaves, so why, why wouldn't you?

Making Playlists...

So, while I was making a playlist to do my homework to, I realized that there isn't any song or band on my iTunes that isn't attached to a plethera of memories. Most of them are really good too!

It makes me miss how things used to be and how I used to spend my time. And most of all, how I used to get to visit my friends all the time.

Blahhh, the end of the semester is coming up so quickly and I am so nervous. I don't think my grades are very good, and I can't have that. I really need to focus these last few weeks.

I'm so excited about going to India. I just want it to happen NOW. I finally put in for my passport. I should receive it in 4-6 weeks, with the worst picture of me ever on it. Oh well.

Things I want to do in the near future (AKA before Fall '09):

Take Hindi/Bollywood dance lessons
Finish my neck/shoulders
Run more
Save money
Find a freaking bike already (I'm convinced the right one will come to meeeee!)
See friends
Redecorate my room
Chose a major
Do more charity/volunteer work

It's funny

The truth ALWAYS comes out. No matter how hard you try to hide it. And it's funny that people who are sketchy will always be sketchy. Despite all efforts to be legit, it never works.

People are really not that great these days. I'm just going to get all sketchy hahaha

I can wait until summer. Have to fill out paperwork for the county today.

Potential classes for Fall '09:
SOC260- Ethnic Relations and the US
WFSC225- Wildlife Conservation and Society
POL202- International Relations
INTS250- Intro to International Studies
HWR203- AZ Water Issues

Yah, can you tell I have NO idea what I want to change my major to??? haha

Been thinking a lot lately about the "what ifs?". Those suck. Also, wondering what life would be if the "what ifs" were real.

Sometimes too much thinking time is a curse. I need to get out of Arizona.

Graduation day feels a million years away.

Thanks, Danielle!!

Your Keirsey Temperament Sorter Results indicates that your personality type is that of the Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply -- and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses. Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there's a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly -- they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast-paced world. Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap. Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population, and a good thing, because they usually end up doing all the indispensable but thankless jobs everyone else takes for granted. Guardians at Work As a Guardian, you enjoy working as a valued member of a team, whether you are leading it or following a credible leader. You like to work with people who carry their weight. You appreciate having clear-cut responsibilities and being recognized for your dedication and achievements. Your natural traits are those that employers have traditionally valued - and that successful companies still respect. You are responsible and loyal to an organization once you've signed on. On the job, you seem to innately understand how to create smooth, working processes in your environment. You can excel at directing others to fulfill their duties. In your ideal workplace, you and your colleagues would know what is expected of you and be predictably rewarded for meeting these expectations. The four types of guardians are: Provider, Protector, Inspector and Supervisor

That'll be me some day, with stolen wings and evil ways....

Nostalgia

Am I wasting all my time
Chasing innocence to find
A time in my life when I should have known better
Have I wasted all these years
Hiding back the tears behind a smiling face
Am I a liar?
Because I want to do what's right
But I need to understand
Do I burn the bridge and call it a life lesson
As these thoughts come floating in
Will the memories race to a higher price to pay

Gonna take a trip down memory lane
For the millionth time today
I'm still waiting
Gonna take a trip down memory lane
And I don't have much to say

As I fumble through my lines
Tripping wires in my mind
There's a script that failed the breach and I'm ready
From another place in time
Where the memories race to a higher price to pay

Gonna take a trip down memory lane
For the millionth time today
I'm still waiting
Gonna take a trip down memory lane
And I don't have much to say

Looking forward for tomorrow
Staring down on yesterday
Can't you see I'm driving blindly
Can't you see that I'm
Can't you see I'm driving blindly

Am I wasting all my time
Chasing innocence to find
A time in my life when I should have known better
Have I wasted all these years
Hiding back the tears behind a smiling face

Gonna take a trip down memory lane
For the billionth time today
I'm still waiting
Gonna take a to trip down memory lane
And I don't have much say

Gonna take a trip down memory lane
And I don't have much to say
I'm still waiting
Gonna take a trip down memory lane
Looking for another place to play
I'm still waiting
Gonna take a trip down memory lane
And I don't have much to say

Time for change..

Tangerine
you're mvp on a losing team
acting as if you'll be 17
for all your life
and i heard you cry
when you were spitting into my eye
said its been eating you up inside
you up inside
and i know its hard to be alone
everyone is scared of showing people who they are
and i know everyone knows if you let them in they'll break your heart
but you are worthless if you're waiting
play it safe, yeah play it cool
but while you run away from everything
i dont ever envy you
change your heart
youre all alone and you know you are
say nothing matters and call it art
say what you mean
and i gave it back
my idealized version of the past
my fear that everything's meaningless
i gave it back
and i know its hard to be alone
but its harder still to let those feelings grow
tangerine, my little tangerine.

Spending too much time dreaming and not doing. That needs to change. Life is good other than that.