quick update

I haven't updated this thing in so long. Life has been so busy lately.

-Swim India
So I have been involved with Swim India since June. Recently, I found out I will be going to the city of Ernakulam. While there, my group and I will be teaching classrooms of children and some of adults how to perform CPR, water safety and even tell them a little bit about life in Tucson, Az. I will also be lucky enough to have the chance to teach swim lessons to children in the pool at the university there. I could not be more excited. The city of Ernakulam is wonderful. We will end up being able to spend a couple nights in a hotel on the beach and even take a ferry to an island that is supposed to have beautiful beaches. My group will also have a full day layover in London! I am so excited to sight see while I'm there!!

-School
School has been extremely hectic, as usual. On top of my classes, I have also been studying for the CLEP test for Spanish and have started studying for the LSATs. I am taking a review class through the UofA for them. It is every Saturday in November and then I will be taking my actual test on Dec 5. I am a little ahead of schedule, I don't graduate until '11, but I want to be able to take and retake however many times necessary. I will be applying for law school at Temple, Berkeley, UCLA, and probably a couple more undecided places. Number one choice is Temple though, so cross your fingers for me!

I miss lots of friends and never have enough time to visit <3!

Rounding Home!

As much as I love California... I always HATE it by the end of my vacations! Haha. I am so happy to be home.

Recap:
Got to Lakeside late Thursday night, chilled and went to sleep.

Friday we woke up early, went to Hash House for breakfast and then cruised PB for a little, got to see one of my favorites!! But not for long enough, I miss him living in the next room! <333 Friday night we took a trolley to Petco stadium and watched the Dodgers DEMOLISH the Padres, such a good game. WELCOME BACK MANNY! (He has soo much work to do, I don't really foresee him playing well the rest of the season... But I still love, love, love him!) I was kind of bummed that my favorite pitcher didn't play... But maybe he will when the Dodgers play the Dbacks!
Saturday was dedicated to DISNEYLAND!!!!!! Pirates of the Caribbean, Haunted Mansion, Indiana Jones, Jungle Tour, Train, Buzz Lightyear, fireworks, pretty Jasmine princess mickey ears! I had so much fun. I loooove it there. Definitely will be going back soon and spending more than a day there this time. PS, my legs and ankles are swollen from walking so much this weekend-well worth it!

I hate Yuma, it's a hideous place. I also hate El Centro. Haha. Overall, great trip.

This summer has been insane! I haven't had a peaceful day yet. 65 hours a week, 2 pools, 1 vacation, 2 summer school classes. The school year probably isn't going to leave me with any more time.

Interview for Swim India tomorrow! Cross your fingers for me.

I am really loving ALL my staff at Kino and most at the ARC.

What did I do to deserve such great things in life?? I miss my friends though :( And have had a really undeserving boy on my mind lately...

xo

Listening to Bayside. Bringing back sweet memories of road trips to Vegas, sing alongs with Morgan and Tom. And good friends.

I miss those days!

So today is my birthday. It feels weird to be 20. I am so much bigger and better of a person than I was last year around this time. I know how I deserve to be treated and what I want for myself. With that being said, I have finally had enough with a destructive friendship. It took one thing to finally push me over the edge. I know how a friend should and shouldn't act.

But everyone at work was so great to me. A boy I work with brought me a cake and everyone sang. My boss sang to be over the bullhorn... Lifeguards are so fun.

Life is really great.

Gonna take a trip down memory lane...

So, while lurking through my parents' computer, I found some funny/really old pictures to share!




2004

2003

2004

2003

It's so crazy how times change! 6 years later and I feel like this was a lifetime ago.. And all the in between now and then pictures (that I chose to exclude for various reasons), it's nuts. I think I have some mental issue because I forget things so easily... I also found some videos that I will try and post later..

In good news, I found a lot of Crudos, Spazz, Indk, Discharge, In My Eyes, MDC, Minutemen... Basically just a lot of awesome music I haven't listened to in YEARS.. I also found some Skrewdriver on here... Apparently I was an even bigger asshole back then... haha

I hate getting old

So... I decided it was the time for a real update....

1. New Found Glory on Sunday was very fun! I love seeing friends and random people that I haven't talked to in yeaaars! OH and lovely out of town friends!! <33

2. I have been in constant limbo between loving and hating school. But, none the less, I am still on the right track and more committed than I have been in the past semesters. For a little over a week, there has not been a day where I haven't spent atleast 3 hours in this forsaken place. But I actually really don't mind it. I hope my final grades reflect my hard work. The U of A is screwing me over, as usual. Registration is closed for anyone except incoming freshman and transfer students. With that being said, the international relations class I want/need (that has 1 seat open in it) is going to go to a freshman who doesn't need it to graduate. COOL. I just want to be done and ready to start law school.

3. My sister graduates this Friday. I'm so proud!! I will be moving into her house August 1, when she moves to San Diego ;(

4. I have been really disappointed with people who are supposed to be my "friends" lately. I didn't know that helping people meant that they could treat you like shit... But apparently that's what it means. I usually don't worry about people and I just let them act like douchebags/assholes/idiots/whatever, but when they are being shitty to me after I have helped them out probably more than anyone, NOT OKAY. Seriously.

5. I really miss Phoenix.

6. I have created more constructive habits. It's really good. I hang out a couple times a week as opposed to never. It's a process, one day I will like to hang out. hah.

That's it I guess. I really thought I had better things to update with?

Summer 2k9

This summer looks like it is going to be awesome:

Birthday!
Catching up in school
$$$
Visits from friends
Eastcoast
REACH THE SKY (This is Hardcore 09)
Beach vacations
New house
Bike (which = bike rides)
Lots of good shows
Getting tattooed!


Ahh I can't wait!! I'm just 2 finals away...

Ahhh. These last couple days have been such a blur. I got into a car accident on Tuesday and have been kinda fucked up ever since. I have been taking Tramadol except it has been making me all fucked up. I feel high 24/7. It sucks so much. I am having such a hard time studying and I have a final tomorrow that have to get atleast an 80 on. And I have to go to the dentist tomorrow to get my mouth checked out and make sure everything is okay. So stressed.

I cannot wait until finals are over.

Sometimes I wish that people would grow up. It's getting really fucking old and no one fucking cares. People need to just get real.

I wish that all these stupid aches and pains would go away. I want to stop taking that freaking medicine.

Falling back in love

After a very successful and enjoyable meeting with my adviser, I have managed to change my major AND declare a minor. I am now officially a history major with a poly sci minor. Yay! I will be taking 2 courses through Pima this summer (online) and taking the CLEP examination for Spanish and hopefully by Fall, I will be back to my normal class!!! (Class of '11, May instead of December). My momma is happy about it.

I am so happy!! I have decided what I am going to do after graduation, but I don't want to jinx it. So I will not be sharing until it is a certainty!

My sister is moving to San Diego is August for law school at Cal Western... I am so torn about it. She's my best friend ever and she's going to be so far away. It is going to suck. And I am nervous. But at the the same time it will be good for her, and that means I will have an excuse to go to San Diego A LOT.

My living situation after May is so up in the air. I might move, might not. I am too nomadic to stay in a house for more than a year. So crazy!

I miss Mary and really, really want to get tattooed :(

Tom cut my hair like 2 weeks ago:

Oh how I love new crushes!! So fun. I think lately I have just been liking new things in general. I have been eating healthy and running regularly and feel sooo much happier. I really do think that your routine affects your happiness.

Life is wonderful. I am thinking of majoring in Geosciences. It depends on how my class (Geological disasters and society) goes, or Public Admin (like my sissy!). I feel like there are so many options. I just know I want a career where I can help people and it doesn't matter what I look like. Still searching for the perfect one, I guess!

The weather is freaking beautiful! I love the heat so much. My birthday is exactly 1 month and 7 days from today, I'm going to be 20!!!!! I feel like time is flying. Oh life.

I miss lots of friends. I will be in phoenix tomorrow for Gaslight Anthem! I hope to see familiar faces.

xo

1800

Hahahahahahahahaha. This picture speaks for itself. Best Friends Forever <3

Mason is the best at taking care of Lindsay and I.

4-17-09

Mary, this station is playing every sad song.
I remember like we were alive.
I heard it Sunday morn' from inside of these walls.
In a prison cell, where we spent those nights.
And they burnt up the diner where I always used to find her.
Licking young boys blood from her claws.
And I learned about the blues from this kitten I knew.
Her hair was rabid and her heart was like a tomb.
My heart's like a wound.

I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my first wife.
Everybody leaves and I'd expect as much from you.
I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my old life.
Everybody leaves, so why, why wouldn't you?

Mary, I worried and stalled every night of my life.
Better safe than making the party.
And I never had a good time, I sat my bedside,
With papers and poetry about Estella.
Great expectations, we had the greatest expectations.

I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my first wife.
Everybody leaves and I'd expect as much from you.
I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my old life.
Everybody leaves, so why, why wouldn't you?

It's funny how the night moves.
Humming a song from 1962.
We were always waiting...always waiting.
We were always waiting for something to happen.

I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my first wife.
Everybody leaves and I'd expect as much from you.
I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my old life.
Everybody leaves, so why, why wouldn't you?

Making Playlists...

So, while I was making a playlist to do my homework to, I realized that there isn't any song or band on my iTunes that isn't attached to a plethera of memories. Most of them are really good too!

It makes me miss how things used to be and how I used to spend my time. And most of all, how I used to get to visit my friends all the time.

Blahhh, the end of the semester is coming up so quickly and I am so nervous. I don't think my grades are very good, and I can't have that. I really need to focus these last few weeks.

I'm so excited about going to India. I just want it to happen NOW. I finally put in for my passport. I should receive it in 4-6 weeks, with the worst picture of me ever on it. Oh well.

Things I want to do in the near future (AKA before Fall '09):

Take Hindi/Bollywood dance lessons
Finish my neck/shoulders
Run more
Save money
Find a freaking bike already (I'm convinced the right one will come to meeeee!)
See friends
Redecorate my room
Chose a major
Do more charity/volunteer work

It's funny

The truth ALWAYS comes out. No matter how hard you try to hide it. And it's funny that people who are sketchy will always be sketchy. Despite all efforts to be legit, it never works.

People are really not that great these days. I'm just going to get all sketchy hahaha

I can wait until summer. Have to fill out paperwork for the county today.

Potential classes for Fall '09:
SOC260- Ethnic Relations and the US
WFSC225- Wildlife Conservation and Society
POL202- International Relations
INTS250- Intro to International Studies
HWR203- AZ Water Issues

Yah, can you tell I have NO idea what I want to change my major to??? haha

Been thinking a lot lately about the "what ifs?". Those suck. Also, wondering what life would be if the "what ifs" were real.

Sometimes too much thinking time is a curse. I need to get out of Arizona.

Graduation day feels a million years away.

Thanks, Danielle!!

Your Keirsey Temperament Sorter Results indicates that your personality type is that of the Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply -- and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses. Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there's a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly -- they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast-paced world. Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap. Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population, and a good thing, because they usually end up doing all the indispensable but thankless jobs everyone else takes for granted. Guardians at Work As a Guardian, you enjoy working as a valued member of a team, whether you are leading it or following a credible leader. You like to work with people who carry their weight. You appreciate having clear-cut responsibilities and being recognized for your dedication and achievements. Your natural traits are those that employers have traditionally valued - and that successful companies still respect. You are responsible and loyal to an organization once you've signed on. On the job, you seem to innately understand how to create smooth, working processes in your environment. You can excel at directing others to fulfill their duties. In your ideal workplace, you and your colleagues would know what is expected of you and be predictably rewarded for meeting these expectations. The four types of guardians are: Provider, Protector, Inspector and Supervisor

That'll be me some day, with stolen wings and evil ways....

Nostalgia

Am I wasting all my time
Chasing innocence to find
A time in my life when I should have known better
Have I wasted all these years
Hiding back the tears behind a smiling face
Am I a liar?
Because I want to do what's right
But I need to understand
Do I burn the bridge and call it a life lesson
As these thoughts come floating in
Will the memories race to a higher price to pay

Gonna take a trip down memory lane
For the millionth time today
I'm still waiting
Gonna take a trip down memory lane
And I don't have much to say

As I fumble through my lines
Tripping wires in my mind
There's a script that failed the breach and I'm ready
From another place in time
Where the memories race to a higher price to pay

Gonna take a trip down memory lane
For the millionth time today
I'm still waiting
Gonna take a trip down memory lane
And I don't have much to say

Looking forward for tomorrow
Staring down on yesterday
Can't you see I'm driving blindly
Can't you see that I'm
Can't you see I'm driving blindly

Am I wasting all my time
Chasing innocence to find
A time in my life when I should have known better
Have I wasted all these years
Hiding back the tears behind a smiling face

Gonna take a trip down memory lane
For the billionth time today
I'm still waiting
Gonna take a to trip down memory lane
And I don't have much say

Gonna take a trip down memory lane
And I don't have much to say
I'm still waiting
Gonna take a trip down memory lane
Looking for another place to play
I'm still waiting
Gonna take a trip down memory lane
And I don't have much to say

Time for change..

Tangerine
you're mvp on a losing team
acting as if you'll be 17
for all your life
and i heard you cry
when you were spitting into my eye
said its been eating you up inside
you up inside
and i know its hard to be alone
everyone is scared of showing people who they are
and i know everyone knows if you let them in they'll break your heart
but you are worthless if you're waiting
play it safe, yeah play it cool
but while you run away from everything
i dont ever envy you
change your heart
youre all alone and you know you are
say nothing matters and call it art
say what you mean
and i gave it back
my idealized version of the past
my fear that everything's meaningless
i gave it back
and i know its hard to be alone
but its harder still to let those feelings grow
tangerine, my little tangerine.

Spending too much time dreaming and not doing. That needs to change. Life is good other than that.

Spring Fever

April:

Beach
Cliff hiking
Fedoras
Trashy TV
Sun dresses
White trash tanning
Out of town friends
Tequila sunrises
Porch sitting
Girl time
Planning
Fall '09 classes

Ahh this month will be so good!! I hope some things go well... It could go either way. I'm nervous

So long Sweets

Atleast we made it to the Sweet 16. We proved that we deserved the opportunity in post-season play this season... It was still a very embarrassing loss.. And a very sad afternoon.

Really, Hill going to the Clippers and Buds going to Jersey?? Not worth it. So sad. They need to play their senior years...

We are coachless, and losing our starting line... Tough life for the Cats.

Drink of 09

Fucking Obsessed.

Let's relive this, please.

I don't know why I am so anti-going out. Because more than half of the time I go out, I have a lot of fun. Like last night.

Spring break is over. I probs had 2 fun nights the entire time. I am exhausted.

I'm so fucking sick of hearing things and not know what the truth is. I just would like to know. It stresses me out. And makes me FUCKING CRAZY.

I can't wait until summer and life to get way sweet!

I am finally feeling accomplished in school. I have 2 more grades to raise and then I will be the happiest little bee in the world!

At this point I think I have... 2 A's, 1 B, and 2 C's.

Those C's need to be raised to ATLEAST B's. That means that no one will see me for a while, sorry guys!

Summer is coming so quickly. LA trip next month, hopefully.

I need the beach and some shopping in my life!!

All I ever wanted was the pick apart the day, put the pieces back together my way....

Not a bad day...

My job made me so happy today! I finished The Namesake, it's so good! I started Eyeless in Gaza today... If it's anything like A Brave New World then Aldous shouldn't be letting me down!

Phoenix tomorrow, couldn't be more stoked! Pay day Thursday!!

Getting a bike this weekend, hopefully. Converting it to a single speed in April when Geoff comes home... HOPEFULLY. hahaha.

I am so ready for summer to begin. Online Spanish class and possibly a piano class in the first summer session. We will see. I need to save money for India and Guatemala!

OH and I need to make an appointment to see my adviser about changing my major and about going to Guatemala and scholarships and all that crap!

Spring Break to-dos:

-Clean Room
-Clean Car
-Make study guide for Geog quiz
-Make study guide for Geog exam
-UV light experiment for NATS
-Finish Eyeless in Gaza, begin Frida.
-JR. LG lesson plan

Busy lady! None of it is recreational either.. Booooo!

Life has just gotten so weird. You would think after dealing with people being so disappointing that I wouldn't be affected so much by it anymore but... Nope, I still am. haha.

I am finally done with my long weekend at work! Yay! Spring break has been nothing noteworthy and all I can think about is how I need to raise my GPA. I am contemplating studying during Spring Break.. Who does that??

I'm almost done with The Namesake. It's so good. And a breeze to read. I love reading books and forgetting that you're reading, it's like the greatest thing.

I have also been getting these weird feelings. Like it will feel like my heart is beating especially hard, almost like it is threatening to pop out of my chest.. Not sure what that means really.

I miss people. I need a vacation, but what's new?

xo

This week is fucking HELL. I hate midterm week. I have a test tomorrow, a test wednesday, my big term paper to finish, another paper to write and then a set of statements to make into arguments...

I'm so exhausted, mentally and physically. Summer please come.

I'm starting to notice how different things are now and it really does just suck. Ugh. I wish I could just know what's going on.

Can't stop listening to:

"If you don't remind me, I won't forget you. If you don't ask, I won't upset you."

Today is a good day! Figuring things out is always a plus. I don't think I hate long days as much as I thought I did.

Library tonight, Library Sunday.

Counting down the days until Spring Break!

3-3-09

Seeing it in writing makes it so much harder.

Fuck it.

3-2-09

I strongly dislike March thus far.

It has been about term papers, sad mornings, and being lost. And it's literally been 2 days.

I can't wait until... Not March? Hah. I'm not really that excited for my birthday, I am going to be 20 and nothing that cool ever happens on my birthday anyways. I guess I am excited for... Spring semester to be over. So early May. Also excited for India.

www.swimindia.org

If you're interested, let me know!

Life, dude.

I have been a 5 night bender (one morning included). It's been so ridiculous. I feel crazy. It's also been pretty fun. The way things look, it is only set to continue hah.

I've been so social lately, hanging out. I am not sure what is going on. I have been ditching class like it's going out of style, Keep me in line someone!!

I am having fun though and loving my best friend. So that's good, I think we needed something to bring us together, we were fading there for a little while.

I have the best friends in the whole world. They keep me up and make me feel as good as I really am. Loves Loves Loves. Old friends and new friends. <3!!

I need a phoenix trip soon! I miss Mary and Danny and Tan Buns. And have many friends to give hugs to because it's just been that long!

Officially need a standard break....

Alk3, Moz and Movielife.

I need to get real.

10 Seconds Too Late

Days like these, I miss you more than anything. It's a terrible feeling. And it's even more terrible that things are so different now.

Life is so fucking crazy. I feel like a mad woman. I can't keep things straight anymore. I need a get away.

I'm going to try and get out sometime this summer. I need a day without stress... That seems like a crazy thought lately.

I feel like I ruin everything. I need to break that.

2-14-09

My Valentine this year is a bottle of Jameson. Why is Valentine's Day so dumb??? This is the first Valentines in a couple of years that I haven't spent it with Mary. I hate hate hate it. Like really.

I get myself into sticky situations and it sucks. I feel like I'm doing so bad in all my classes. Especially Geography. I have 2 exams on Monday and then a quiz on Wednesday and a quiz on Thursday. I have to read 100 pages tomorrow, make 2 study guides.. Wait, 3.

No more time for games. This is my last social weekend til Spring Break.


I reaaaaally miss Phoenix right now :(

Life is steadily getting more and more stressful. Soon, I probs won't even be able to handle it.
I need a personal assistant/homework helper/driver. Because I got ANOTHER speeding ticket yesterday on the way to school.

I am really skeptical about a lot of things right now. And the person who I am skeptical about is not making a very good case for themself... But hey, just another bad call to add on to a longgggg list that I have! hah.

I miss Phoenix. I need summertime. I need definition. I need to do well this semester.

The WORST Feeling in the World

Letting people down is terrible... Especially when they're family. I hate, hate, hate it. I don't even want to see her.

Life is weird on so many levels right now. Sometimes I wish that I never moved back to Tucson. I love it, but I miss Phoenix so muuuuuch. Ugh. I feel like I never make the good choices...

School's heinous, I have so much going on and am just ready for graduation... In 2 years, hah. I am going to apply for the Teach for America program. It's such an amazing concept and will open so many doors for my future! There's a program called Teach for All that deals with schools abroad and maybe by the time I'm ready for that, there will be a program in the middle east! So excited to graduate!

I took a 6 hour nap earlier and can't get tired now. Class at 9am tomorrow and I am missing someone who I don't think misses me back... So not a good feeling!

Slow Down Feet

Sometimes I wish that I could jump out of my body and look and what my life is. It's weird to think about how we got to where we are now and what steps we will take towards out futures. Honestly, when I graduated high school, I NEVER thought I would be where I am today. Like Middle Eastern Studies, I wouldn't have dreamed of that then. I am in NO WAY unhappy with my choice and am in NO WAY unhappy with my plans for post-grad school... It's just not what I would have expected. Looking at the past always makes me think about the future... What if life doesn't turn out the way I thought it would? I know there will be bumps in the road, but what if I go in the complete wrong direction!! And then I get all anxious and freaked out...

LIFE IS SO CRAZY!

Other than my weird train of thought... School starts Wednesday. I get classes HOPEFULLY tomorrow rather than Tuesday. I am nervous. My social anxiety always gets me at the beginning of every semester. New instructors, new classrooms, new classmates, new criteria. But it's all part of doing what I do. I figured out today that I will be graduating in December 2011 instead of May 2011, but maybe that is for the better. I don't want to rush through my undergrad time.

Let's hope for straight A's this semester!